Son of Grok

The Rollerblading Incident

April 26th, 2009


My wife and I have recently taken up rollerblading. We try to go on the weekends. It is good exercises, it is fun, and we get to spend some time together.

If you don’t particularly like working out, an awesome way to get your exercise in is to find something you enjoy… like rollerblading!

Anyways, after yesterdays post we decided to head out Rollerblading. Now let me tell you… we are FAR from expert rollerbladers. To this point, no one had fallen yet but there had been a few close calls. My biggest problem seems to be with stopping.

So back to yesterday again. We got to the point on our trail that we normally get to. We weren’t yet tired and the explorer in me got the best of things so we continued farther on the trail.

Turns out that going farther on the trail is just one big giant hill.

We started going down the hill.

Brain to me: “Its ok… just ride the hill out, you will be fine”
Me to brain: “Ok”

Started getting kind of fast.

Me to brain: “Ok this is starting to suck”
Brain to me: “Agreed… just ride it out and don’t fall”

Now going REALLY fast. I estimate about 35 miles per hour. (The wife had been smart about it and wiped out off the path a while back).

Me to brain: “OMG I am going to die”
Brain to me: “You will be fine… the hill has to end soon”

Get around a bend and see that the hill in fact does no end.

Me to brain: “OMG I am going to die… I need to try and slow down”
Brain to me: “OMG you are going to die… you need to try to slow down”

So I tried using the little brake on the rollerblade.

Gravity to me: “STOP!”

The second I lifted my foot to the braking stance, it was all over. I went down. Ass first… then slide about 5 feet on my back then roll and then slide 5 more feet on my face.

A hospital trip later, and I have a severely bruised tail bone, lacerated shoulder arms and back and a nice swollen face with roadrash.

Sad thing is… I can’t wait until I can get back out on my blades! lol

Pics. They dont really do the damage justice but urgent care said thats the worst shape they have seen someone come in in a while lol:

Fresh back from hospital and bandaged

Fresh back from hospital and bandaged

Hard to tell but my face is in bad shape

Hard to tell but my face is in bad shape

I have this roadrash all over! Ow

I have this roadrash all over! Ow

26 Responses to “The Rollerblading Incident”

  1. twisteddoc

    Heh, I have so been there… I used to think Valencia (city where I live) was pretty flat… Until I took rollerblading. I have hugged several trees in my street… Streetlamps are your friends now!

    Take care of your bruises.

    (Hi! Long time SoG paleo lurker!)

  2. Natalie

    Ouchies! That’ll learn you for being all male and macho and not thinking of the consequences in that testosterony way you lot have. :)

  3. Kat

    I’m sorry to say, but I laughed through most of this post! I totally feel your pain…but kudos to you for want to get back out there and try again. When we leave the gym sometimes a swarm of bees will get the best of us but that doesn’t stop us from trying to get the honey. Hope you’re feeling better soon! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Carl

    I was looking in the mirror earlier today; thought I could use some scars to appear more terrifyingly primal. Looks like you beat me to it! =D

    Feel better soon!

  5. MI09

    Mark Sisson, The 10 Primal Blueprint laws, rule #8

    Avoid trauma.

    Eliminate self-destructive behaviors. These concepts are self evident to most people (wear seat belts, don’t smoke or do drugs, don’t dive into shallow water) yet so many of us live our lives oblivious to impending danger. Develop a keen sense of awareness of your surroundings.

    Just kidding man, i hope that you’re ok.

    Get better fast!

  6. MI09

    Put on the injuries some Pot Marigold extract or cream, to spead up the healing process.

    Also, this will help you if the injured spots feels like burning

  7. Son of Grok

    I will keep my eye out for lamp next time around! lol

    I wasnt being macho! I was being terrified lol.

    It is ok. One mans misfortune is anothers smile.

    Definitely going to get some good story scars out of this one.

    Lol… yeah trauma is bad. But if you live life in a bubble you never really live right? lol

  8. Marc Feel Good Eating


    Dude!!!??!! WTF?

    We’ll hey, a little adventure is never bad….experiences is what makes life fun….even road rash at times ;-) lol

    All the more reason for Mrs. SoG to take care of her man for a few nights…

    Ofcourse for all your fellow office workers that are not aware of you blog, and want to know what happenend…. you’ll tell them the old “you should see the other guy” ;-)

    Hope you recover SOON!! A little extra vit. c. might also be helpful.


  9. Angel

    Well, you LOOK miserable, so yeah, I’d guess you were in bad shape. ;)

    Eating a paleo diet, I know you’ll heal quickly … that would be a great set of blog posts, about how you are astounding all your friends/colleagues/doctors with how quickly and easily you recover from trauma.

  10. LabRat

    I’ve known a few people who could stop effectively with that little brake… but it’s a pretty small figure compared to the number for who it’s the insta-fall move, including me.

    Best way I know of to stop is to make continuous tight turns and bleed off your speed that way. Failing that, looking for a soft place to fall is your best bet…

    Also, a decent set of rollerblades can take you up to 45 mph, especially on a hill. They’re nothing to screw with.

  11. Yavor

    Ouch dude! That’s some 300 battle damage to you! I remember falling while blading down a hill as a kid. The hill ended in a fork – I couldn’t make up my mind whether to go left or right and ended up smashing into the ground after a left-then-right-then-left-again maneuver.

    Get better soon buddy!

  12. John Sifferman - Real World Strength Training

    I took those silly brakes off my blades after a few falls. When you get going really fast, I would use the inside of my wheels dragged sideways behind me to slow down. I’ve used my skates for 5-6 years and haven’t needed new wheels yet. It’s been awhile since I’ve skated though…

    And your wife reacted just like mine would :)

  13. Reid

    Hills and rollerblades don’t mix well. My wife did the same thing a few years ago. She just avoided skating off into some huge rocks (more like boulders). Luckily she only required a few stitches in her leg.

    Careful on those things!

  14. Chris -

    Glad you’re not more seriously messed up.
    Nice looking road rash, battle scars give you character.

    Right now my hands are both covered in gobies (scabs) from hand jamming in cracks on a climbing trip….

    never been better :-)

  15. Smoketheblowfish

    Oh my. SoG, I could absofrickinlutely have a field day with you story-o-misery. Unfortunately, time constraints won’t allow me to give proper justice to this one. But….

    “My wife and I have recently taken up rollerblading. We try to go on the weekends. It is good exercises, it is fun, and we get to spend some time together.”

    A small list of to-do’s/really think-about-its:
    a) Most statements starting with “My wife and I” followed with an act requiring balance and brakes are doomed from the start.
    b) “Good exercise” and “fun” and “quality time” and “don’t kill you” would never be associated with rollerblading down a fricking hill.
    c) You’ve got a set of before and after photos that even the makers of Hydroxycut wont believe.
    d) “The little break on the skate” is like a middle finger on a nun…ain’t gonna get used for its’ intended purpose…and even if you knew how to use it, it isn’t going do perform its desired job.
    e) When urgent care says you look like crap, and you still want to get back on…you know you need professional help.

    hope you feel better soon…and you may want to avoid the Grok Power Tie for a while.

    love and hugs,


  16. Yavor

    John, yeah I think that’s the right way to break – with the wheels sideways. And yeah, sometimes (most) women act smarter lol


  17. Rayna

    Sorry to here about your accident. Hopefully it heals fast.

    I’m one of those people that get hurt doing EVERYTHING. and it’s usually a severe injury like a broken foot, pulled hip flexor, rhabdo, you know… the fun stuff. Glad to hear this isn’t the case.

    btw- your wife is very smart, I would have down the same thing. When I go cross country skiing as soon as I start going even a little too fast, I fall on my butt. I don’t think I’ve ever made it past 15 mph on skiis let alone 35 and surely not on roller blades. Then again- aren’t you in NM, there aren’t any hills in NM ;-)

  18. DaveC-DaveGetsFit

    Been there–done that! When I lived in San Angelo TX, there was a shop that sold bikes and blades. He offered a free demo day to our bike club. It amazed me how little kids took to it so fast. I ended up doing the Downhill Dive when I couldn’t negotiate a turn. Ouch! I stick to bicycles! :-)

  19. Karin

    Awww. Poor SoB, I mean SoG… :) The key is not to get that much speed built up! You have a lot of options. You can mess with the angle you have your skates at. As in not parallel. You can do that thing that downhill skiiers do (fun!). You can us the brake (it’s good for slowing down, gradually). Or you can walk down the hill in the grass in the first place. That’s a good starting point until you can practice some of the other options. Your poor shoulder! :(

  20. Dangeruss

    Ah gotta love it. Used to rollerblade all the time. I’m probably going to be the only one to tell you that you don’t have enough scars, so get back out there and do more damage. Scars = awesomeness. There is a great Marine Corps saying “Bones heal, Chicks dig scars, the change is forever”.

  21. smoketheblowfish

    Dangeruss ~ Isn’t there one more little-know Marine Corps saying?

    “Don’t rollerblade down a hill without knowing how to stop, drop and roll”

    Somehow I don’t imagine SoG (one day in the distant future) saying to his grandkids, “I got this scar in a knife fight protecting a group of old women from 10 gang bangers….and this one I got when I couldn’t stop myself as I flew down a hill on skates”.

  22. Hannah

    Haha! Oh boy!

    I always feel like a regular bad-A whenever I get injured doing something awesome…of course, it doesn’t always feel good (almost never!) but you get a sick sort of pride from it.

    Good job, SoG! Get better soon and get back to mastering the ‘blading!

  23. ttfn300

    oh no! i had a similar experience my first time on rollerblades, except i rolled forward and there was some grass :)

  24. Dangeruss

    @smoketheblowfish – Ya I forgot about that saying.
    I’ve got a cool scar on my side from playing soccer at a friends house when I was 9, whenever I tell the story I usually tell people that I got it in Afghanistan fighting the Russians during the 80′s. Usually takes people a few seconds to realize that If i’m 21 now there is no way I could have fought in Afghanistan then.

    Point of the story is no matter how you got the scar you must tell it in a bad ass story.

    @Hannah Same here. My point exactly.

  25. Carl

    Ok I have to add a followup. In my post I gleefully said I thought I needed my own set of scars.

    Be careful what you wish for. =D

    I wiped out today sprinting with my dogs (dog’s fault!). Thankfully I managed to save my face though. =D

    Here’s to getting better together.

  26. Quentin Silvand

    SOrry to hear about your accident.

    You could try and take a few lessons. They do help a lot and the instructor will teach you how to sop efficiently and how to control your skates at any given time.

    Don;t give up.

    Good luck!

    ICP Level 2 Rollerblading Instructor

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