Image courtesy www.presentationzen.com
The importance of solitude
In our modern lives we are so connected that it almost seems we are disconnected…. from ourselves that is.
Between work, family, friends, appointments, obligations, texting, email, phones, and everything else in out lives, it seems like we are almost always connected and interacting in one way or another with people (even if it is through machines).
A lot of people like to talk about the importance of these connections and this social culture. Popular people and people deeply woven into these social connections are often envied and looked up to. People outside and loners are often looked down upon or thought of as different or weird.
While I will not deny the importance of contact and human interaction, I would also like to point out the importance of solitude and separation.
Have you ever been truly alone? I mean out in the middle of nowhere just you, yourself and maybe a bit of nature. The feeling can be deeply profound. There are certain lines of thought that seem to only happen in this state. There can be a deep connection with oneself. There are a number of feelings and thoughts that happen to you that just don’t happen in the hustle and bustle of our busy modern lives.
Humans are social creatures but that does not mean we were ALWAYS around other humans. In our history, there were almost certainly times of solitude. You could be a Grok hunting solo or a lost Grok finding your way home or an explorer Grok selflessly setting out to find better lands for the tribe.
I believe there is a reason that asceticism has in our history been often tied directly with religion and spirituality or even enlightenment. During these times of aloneness it is easy to think and to hear yourself think. You can feel connections other than with other people. Connections to yourself, nature, higher powers (gods, god, spirituality, energy, or whatever floats your boat).
I highly recommend that everyone try to get away from time to time… spend some time alone. I don’t mean sitting in front of the TV. I like my hikes out in the middle of the desert, just myself, my thoughts and some jackrabbits. Meditation can also be a good option.
This solitude can be stress relieving, healthy and very beneficial and is just as important as social interaction in my book. What are your thoughts?
July 23rd, 2009 - 1:56 pm
Solitude is definitely good. We all get in moods where we don’t wanna talk to anyone or see anyone. Most people suck anyway.
July 23rd, 2009 - 1:58 pm
I could not agree with you more!! I love some time alone, it’s very elusive for me. I find being alone in nature, by water, in the woods, it’s the most amazing experience. Ever notice how you can hear every little thing?
July 23rd, 2009 - 2:48 pm
Quite a Zen-like post Sir SoG! Outside of de-pooping/mowing the lawn with headphones on, I cannot remember having any true alone time. It sounds great, but fortunate or not, any time that I could designate as alone time is officially dedicated to family time. This could be the reason God created the newspaper and the bathroom for men….throne time.
later
MikeZ
July 23rd, 2009 - 2:58 pm
I know what you mean. I think sometimes I only feel able to think things through and make sense of stuff when I am on my own up a mountain somewhere.
Thanks for writing this
July 23rd, 2009 - 3:39 pm
Funny u should bring this up! I am really enjoying having the whole house to myself with ur dad and bros gone backpacking. TV has been off and I have been doing what I want, when I want…and that has included walking those dogs he left behind: which has been good for me because usually I plug into a book-on-tape and ignore my surroundings.
I was feeling guilty for feeling this good
I did send a letter to one of their food caches that when they get back, the TV stays off (yeah right!)
19 more days of this (hearing myself think?) I might change my mind…………………
July 23rd, 2009 - 8:11 pm
This is one reason I hunt. Lose the cellphone and just spend time alone in the woods. There’s nothing quite like being present to listen to the forest awaken.
July 23rd, 2009 - 9:22 pm
Here’s a motivational poster that you will like:
http://www.headgear.org/~cloyce/moto-motivation/serenity.jpg
But, back on point. I go fishing with the in-laws way up in Ontario every few years. We are literally probably the only people withing 50 miles on the lake. Although there is interaction with the relatives, we are completely unplugged from the outside world. It is fantastic. Talk about down time. No texts, or email, or tv, or sports…nothing – except fishing, drinking beer and bonfires. Very primal. Going in about 4 weeks. Can’t wait.
July 24th, 2009 - 7:27 am
Absolutely right on, SoG. I think Thoreau said it best…
I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least – and it is commonly more than that – sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements. ~Henry David Thoreau
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion. ~Henry David Thoreau
July 24th, 2009 - 7:40 am
There is a lot to be gained from heading out on an adventure alone. You find that at the beginning of it you most likely experience anxiety over the unknown, self doubt, and a fear of failure. However, at the end you gain confidence in yourself and your ability to overcome any challenge. It is a very rewarding experience.
July 24th, 2009 - 7:59 am
I don’t get much time to escape into the woods, living in the city, but it’s almost recreating the feeling when you get up really early and go outside into the yard. It’s amazing the way the need to talk out loud just falls away.
July 25th, 2009 - 1:00 am
I absolutely, 100% need time alone or I will climb the walls.
I’m a friendly person, and I can be social with the best of them, but I am at my core an introvert which means I have to have time alone to recharge or I will end up a sick, twitching, jittery mess from not being able to decompress. I’m at my happiest when in my own company. I love all that sitting around with friends talking nonsense thing, but silence nourishes me more than social contact can. I only wish that the Netherlands where I lived was a little less densely populated so that if I did take a hike, I wouldn’t have to share the woods with literally thousands of others. And their kids. And their dogs.
July 25th, 2009 - 3:02 pm
Very nice ideas! I read a book a while back: My Name is Chellis and I’m in Recovery from Western Civilization. Her theory is that all of us in the West are suffering from PTSD from being ripped away from nature too quickly (kind of like the eating grain thing). And your suggestion for meditation is especially good–a break from all the “busy” thoughts (like “how many fat grams is good” (hee hee)) that drive us crazy and get us nowhere.
July 26th, 2009 - 10:38 am
Yes yes yes! This is the main reason we are packing up our family and moving into the woods. We have chosen to take jobs that will allow us to live rurally. Our spirits have been crushed in suburbia and our kids are suffering too. We are moving to rural northern Maine where we can wake up and actually hear the birds morning songs instead of the darn lawn service noises. Solitude and quiet on a daily basis = a happy and less bellicose grok!
November 20th, 2009 - 4:08 am
Right on!!!! Just dropped into ur blog from Rusty’s via Mark’s Daily Apple….. Can’t agree with u more. We in India are aping the west in every way in trying to catch up with the more affluent west and the lifestyle and outlook of our generation has changed quite rapidly from that of our parents…..
One of the things i notice in some of my friends is almost a compulsive need to be social and to be engaged in some social activity at all times s if being alone is a huge source of pain…..Incidentally, some of these same people are also very unhappy with their lives, jobs etc. and are always looking for a break……I feel this compulsive need to be stimulated at all times is a form of escapism to block out the pain of having to deal with the core problems in your life…….
At the end of the day, I really think only in solitude can we truly reflect on our lives and see if the direction our lives are taking is what we really want wherther in material or spiritual terms ….